9 Keys to Put Your Life Back Together(when your falling apart)
The Backstory Before My Life Fell ApartThe first twenty five years of my life closely resemble scenes from Lemony Snickets, A Series of Unfortunate Events. I’ll spare you the details here, but I assure you it’s Lifetime Channel worthy. What happened was absolutely unbelievable and does not feel like my life. But I’m grateful for some of it, yep keyword is “some”. It shaped me and gave me insights that can’t be learned from reading books.
The next twenty
Fast forward a few years
This is where my life fell apart
What do you need to succeed in life?
During the last four and a half years I’ve had to dig really deep and uncover my truths. My first encounter to that search began when I went through the certification process to become a life coach. During a values training my coach asked me how my values were aligning with my reality. I was face to face with a question I wasn’t prepared to answer. She used a beautiful analogy of being a rose bush and asked what does the rose need in order to bloom? I have no idea what I said to her that day, that’s all I remember mixed with trying not to burst into tears.
Accepting, releasing, and preparing:
- How I fix a relationship? When it comes to relationships, Not everything can be fixed. People who don’t want to grow, won’t and there’s nothing you can do about it. That is a painful truth. For those that do it takes time. An oak tree doesn’t sprout overnight. Weigh your decisions carefully how long you can wait.
- You really are not responsible for “everybody and their issues”. I have a lot to say about this. This one has taken some time to move past. Based on the theory of keeping your side of the street clean, do just that. Don’t try to manage your ex’s, your neighbors’, or whoever’s side of the street. Just take care of yours. Period. They may not like it, but it’s not your burden.
- Accept the fact that some people refuse to see that they are wrong or need to change. It’s not your job to convince them, you can love them from far away.
- The number one thing you can do is “know and define yourself before the storm hits”. Whether it’s a personal storm or a business storm be prepared. You have to know that you know who you are. Unfortunately, our culture doesn’t really teach us to know ourselves and to be true to ourselves; and you don’t know what you don’t know, so the idea of doing that work on yourself may not come before the storm hits.
Valuable gems to put in your pocket
- Take care of yourself. Yeah it sounds cliche but it’s the gospel truth. Get rest, eat good, meditate, pray and breathe. Give yourself the chance to just “be” with no pressure or expectations.
- Surround yourself with people you can trust: In a puddle of tears I asked a friend of mine what do I do? She said to me “maybe nothing”. It was absolutely profound and game changing for me. I can tell you that every cell in my being fought against that statement. For over 40 years I had been responsible for “fixing” everything. I was finally free to entertain the idea that “maybe nothing” was an option for me. I had to learn to do nothing and it was another challenge.
- Believe in yourself: Regardless of what anyone says, you are worthy of so much. Do things that foster believing in yourself.
- Don’t lose sight of who you really are. The people that don’t look into your soul and see the beauty inside are blind. I know it hurts but it hurts to stay invisible too. You really matter and you have a purpose to fulfill.
- Keep your content clean. Whatever has caused your world to fall apart does not belong on social media. It belongs in your circle of “safe friends” where you get the love and support you need. You do not need judgement and lurking eyes that comes from online trolls that think they are experts on your life. When you’re emotionally hurting you’re in no state of mind to deal with that type of judgement. Trust me on this one. I’ve never posted any of my dirt, but I’ve sure seen plenty of others do it. There’s a reason why it’s called dirt.